wat bout pragnant strippers??
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
