Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
