i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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