my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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