are you still at the devil's house?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
