before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
