We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
