I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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