im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
