walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
