Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
