I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
