I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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