My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on