ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
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Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.