I'm pants shitting drunk right now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
