i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
