God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Welp...herpes.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
