I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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