I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
