so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
