Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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