just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
