I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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