Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i drank out of a bidet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
