Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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