So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
