it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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