He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just want nice things and good sex
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
