I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
4 words: hood of his car
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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