i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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