dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
