Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
