i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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