and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
