at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
my poor anus
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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