Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
