the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
