i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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