Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
