White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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