Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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