I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
