Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
