have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
