Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize