And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
