I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
