I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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