hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Do vagina's smell?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
3pm strippers are depressing
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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