the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize