Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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