worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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