something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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