I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Two words: blizzard sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
