I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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