Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
