woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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