ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
