At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
