I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
