I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
