Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
