She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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