Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
